Earjobs Staff Review: Earlove Earplugs
Posted by Earjobs Help Desk on
Seasons greetings from the team at Earjobs. 2021 has involved a great many new entries to the horror canon, including Nightmare on Lockdown Avenue, Revenge of the Two Day Old Mask, and the Crying Baby Next Door. In this guide we’re counting down five of our favourite horror films, and the best ear plugs to help you sleep afterwards. Remember, there’s 12% off foam plugs for Halloween, enter code FOAM12 at checkout.
With the new entry to the series Halloween Kills due for mid-October, it’s important to brush up on the classics. The original Halloween, directed by John Carpenter, follows the masked Michael Myers (not that one) on a quest to slash every single eligible young woman in Haddonfield, Illinois. Halloween was one of the first horror films to give its killer a signature music track and to film scenes from the killer’s perspective — two little touches that remain terrifying even today.
Pair with: Earjobs Comfy Wax
Much like Mike Myers’ affectless wax mask, the Earjobs Comfy Wax creates a smooth and flexible seal that contours nicely to the shape of your ears. They are rated to block around 23dB of sound when properly fitted, suitable for snores, rattling windows, or the evil cantations being whispered by the occultists next door.They’re waterproof, all natural, and biodegradable — unlike Mike Myers, if you bury them they won’t come back.
I’m not going to bore you with a lengthy explanation of why Rob Zombie’s 2003 film House of 1000 Corpses is actually a postmodern masterpiece, pastiching together elements from every legendary horror film with a sense of humour only he can provide… But it is. Building on the rural isolated house of horror trope, House of 1000 Corpses is held together by the virtuosic performance of Hollywood legend Sid Haig and follows a family of murderers operating a roadside freak museum. Start here and follow it up with Zombie’s more indie-fied follow-up The Devil’s Rejects.
Pair with: Sparkplugs Multicoloured Foam Ear Plugs
When you have the neighbours from hell, only the toughest plugs will do. The Sparkplugs are a Class 5 set of hearing protection — suitable for the loudest industrial environments — and do a great job suppressing snores, traffic noise, or the chainsaw your neighbour keeps revving at two or three in the morning. They’re made with a brightly coloured foam, great for identification in a dark room, and are made with a low density foam, designed to exert minimal pressure on the sensitive ear canal.
While it’s technically not a horror movie, its representation of an epidemic that started with a bat in a wet market is the stuff of nightmares. Steven Soderbergh’s film was praised for its realism at the time, meticulously exploring supply shortages, drug misinformation campaigns, and just how important it is to wash your hands. Featuring an ensemble class including Lawrence Fishburne, Marion Cotillard, Matt Damon and a freshly balding Jude Law. Over the last 18 months, we’ve all seen just how right it was.
Pair with: Howard Leight Laser Lite Ear Plugs
If you’re a jetsetting World Health Organisation investigator tasked with solving the mystery of a new virus, you need to be able to sleep anywhere. That means a plug that is both soft/flexible enough for all ear shapes, while still blocking a heavy amount of sound. The Laser Lite is a great solution here, made with a smooth, soil-resistant closed cell-foam for ultimate hygiene. Like the Sparkplugs, these are built for industrial environments but thrive in sleeping ones — the level of protection is guaranteed to sort out snoring.
It wouldn’t be an Earjobs list without the devourer of dreams himself, Freddy Krueger. In Nightmare on Elm Street, a bunch of teens are hassled by a supernatural manifestation of their greatest fears. The twist? Harm in dreams persists into real life. Being totally honest, the special effects haven’t aged too well and Robert Englund’s performance as Freddy is a little on the hammy side — still, it’s a charming, funny watch (and also features a young Johnny Depp). If you’re looking for something that cranks the over the top meter to eleven, substitute this for Freddy vs. Jason, the horror mash-up with the Friday the 13th series that is basically one long pub argument about who would win in a fight.
Pair with: Super Soft Small Orange
Coloured like half of Freddy’s iconic sweater, the Super Soft Small Orange are a trustworthy bedtime companion. They’re optimised for smaller ears, with a hollow core to make these the lightest and softest plugs listed. The low density foam minimises pressure on the ear without compromising sound blocking. These are among the strongest ‘slim’ plugs on the market.
The newest entry to the horror canon, David Robert Mitchell’s 2014 film It Follows is notable for its unique premise, stylised aesthetic, and head scratching ending. The rules: you’re being followed by a shapeshifting entity, if it catches you — game over. Like a game of Tip, you have to pass it onto someone else to protect yourself. We won’t spoil anything else, the pleasure in this film is in discovery (though maybe not first date material).
Pair with: Earjobs Silicone Putty
If there’s one lesson this film has for its audience it’s ‘wear protection’ (for your ears). Like the entity, our Silicone Putty is a shape shifting flexible plug, suitable for all ear shapes and sizes. It stretches comfortably over the entrance to the ear, creating a watertight seal for swimming and bathing, or a sound seal for a softer night’s sleep. The silicone is hypoallergenic and leaves no greasy residue, they’re finitely reusable and come with a carry case to follow you wherever you go.